You walk into a crowded room of people you don’t know. Everyone is laughing and talking in their groups. It would be much easier to walk right back out, but you are there to represent a group with the mission of meeting people and making connections. So, you take your next step forward. But now what?
For some people, this is what nightmares are made of. For Jennifer Tirey, executive director of the Illinois Pork Producers Association, this is what she lives to do.
“Jennifer is excellent at building relationships with people,” says Josh Maschhoff, president of the Illinois Pork Producers Association. “She can walk into a room where she might not know anybody and quickly make introductions and connections with those people. And most importantly, she can remember their name, and she can do it with a lot of people.”
Maschhoff admits he often finds himself in a room with a lot of people, and he can’t remember their names.
“Whether it’s fellow producers or members of the legislature, the closer I can put myself to Jennifer Tirey, the better off I will be,” he says. “I know I’ve got a resource that can help pull me along when I’m struggling because she can remember all of those people.”
He says her ability to remember the details about someone’s personal life and truly make a connection with them makes her unique.
Authentic Relationship Building Takes Work
How do you develop a superpower like this? Tirey admits it does take work.
“You just can’t go into a room and know a lot of people’s names without putting a lot of work into it,” she says. “I go back to the very first meeting that I had with Pork Producers. I’d only been on the job for less than a week, and they had already scheduled a regional meeting in Bloomington. I spent the entire car ride — because someone else was driving — memorizing the names of the individuals that were going to be there because I wanted the producers to know that I care and want to know them.”
If you want to truly connect with people and build a relationship, you have to be willing to work at it. Before every event, Tirey devotes time to reading over the list of who will be there and looks up photos to try to memorize faces.
“I’m always learning and trying to sharpen that skill,” she says. “I think that’s a valuable asset to have within agriculture. At the end of the day, agriculture is a really small community, and you cross paths a lot. You need each other to be successful.”
How to Connect and Be Remembered in Any Room
Now, back to the crowded room. Before you enter, adopt a mindset that you are there to learn and support others, not just “work the room.” Here are a few tips to help you connect with the crowd.
1. Scan The Room.
When you enter the room, use soft eye contact as you scan the room. Don’t stare, but instead do a “sweeping gaze.” According to the Science of People, a sweeping gaze is a slow, methodical look around the room. Start the gaze the moment you enter a room by looking to your left then slowly sweeping across the room until you find your opening or where you want to go. Then, make longer eye contact there.
“It’s easier to make connections when you give yourself the outward look that you want to meet people,” Tirey says.
2. Project Confidence.
Remember to smile and stand tall to project confidence as you head toward where you want to go. If you don’t feel confident, don’t worry because you aren’t alone, says Marilyn Sherman, a well-known motivational speaker.
“Even when you don’t feel confident, act confident. It will change your entire mindset,” Sherman says.
3. Make Direct Eye Contact And Have a Firm Handshake.
Tirey says the best advice she has to offer when connecting with people is to start with direct eye contact. Let the person you are talking to know they have your full attention.
“In addition to eye contact, a really firm handshake to a person that you’ve never met gives a good impression,” she adds. “It also keeps you top of mind with them.”
4. Listen.
“Really taking a moment to listen to who they are and what they have to say is key,” Tirey says. “I think doing this gives me a chance to internally set myself and get prepared for meeting somebody new. It allows you to learn about the person you’re trying to get to know without any ulterior motive.”
She believes taking a pause and letting people share what they want to share first is a great way to understand where they are coming from, too.
5. Offer Value.
Tirey says she strives to be a straight shooter and appreciates that when meeting others.
“Life moves fast, and I would much rather cut to the chase.” Tirey says. “I love making connections and catching up with people, but there are things that must be done, too. I appreciate directness and constructive criticism because that makes me a better person.”
If you have a relevant idea or suggestion, be ready to share it succinctly.
“One thing that works like magic is creating a memorable moment,” according to Wave Connect. “Think about ways you can add value right in the moment. Maybe you overhear someone mention a challenge they are facing, and you can recommend a solution or introduce them to someone you know. That kind of value sticks.”
As Maya Angelou said: “People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. People will never forget how you made them feel.”
Learn more about Tirey in the latest episode of The PORK Podcast.
