I have long maintained everyone should be required do their own income taxes. The ensuing flood of hopelessly incorrect forms clogging the caulking gun of government would force legislators to keep it simple or just send invoices.
Not being one to indulge in unnecessary hypocrisy, I have never used an accountant or paroled embezzler to prepare my taxes. Or even to ghost-write my farm accounting books.
I’m dismayed at friends who steadfastly cling to a cloud of ignorance concerning how taxes are calculated. Handing the task to a professional loses the opportunity to be outraged incrementally during the process.
Professionals are also a little too obsessed by accuracy and legality, with little whimsy or dramatic flair, at least until you reach eight or so digits of income, at which point they become the premier fantasy writers of our time.
Mystic Guild Secrets
The respected, and disturbingly durable David Kohl, a real economist, estimated many years ago that filing a Schedule F was worth about $17,000 a year to farmers. At the time, I could not help but think, “Dave, you’re not even trying.”
To be fair to Dave, as is for magicians, the tax expert code of ethics (which might be real thing) forbids members from revealing the mystic guild secrets. Or at least only to do so in such prolix obfuscation (see what I did there?) as to daunt amateurs who toy with the idea of self-filing.
It was the arrival of tax prep software that elevated tax prep into a Division I competition. The arena of choice was our beloved Schedule F, a curious document that has shaped our businesses.
For example, F lists expenses in alphabetic order, so early farmers began laying out their books in the same way – which makes no sense for analyzing our actual businesses. Or does it? The Car Expenses through Veterinarian categorization with the beloved Miscellaneous tacked on as an afterthought, created accounts with no small amount of overlap and enough gray area to be England.
The Last One
It was with a profound sense of loss that I realized 2021 would be my last Sch F. I have passed over from tax-oppressed operator to avaricious owner who oxymoronically participates inactively. I have hopes for Form 4835 with its alluring slots for hard-to-disprove expense deductions, but it is a mere shadow of the accounting sleight-of-hand of our cherished F.
The correct tax rate for farmers is obviously zero. Seriously. Ask any farm tax expert how much farmers should pay and listen to the crickets. Evil politicians and cruel bureaucrats have thwarted that goal, but Schedule F, God bless’im, gives us a fighting chance.
