5 Guarantees When Working on Machinery
There are some things I can absolutely guarantee when working on machinery. Such as:
1. If I open a can of Never-Seize, within 30 seconds both arms will be coated with the stuff, I will be able to taste it on my tongue, and there will even be splotches of that stuff on my socks INSIDE my shoes. I believe Never-Seize-type products are actually alien life forms intent on taking over the world.
2. If I take the cap off a new spray can of WD-40, spray paint or other aerosol, there is an 86.7% chance that within the next hour I will knock over that can so it lands on the spray nozzle, breaks off the nozzle, and renders the can useless before I've used any of it.
3. If you cover the floor of your combine, sprayer or tractor cab with tool boxes and extra parts so they’ll be handy when something breaks down, you WILL have to make repairs to something under the floor mat of the cab before the end of the season. If you keep your cab floor clean, you’ll never need to get under the floor mat.
4. When dropped, a cell phone will find the nearest puddle of water or bucket full of oil.
5. Any box of roll pins or cotter keys will be missing the one I need. Or, it will have a pin or key of the right diameter, but it will be ½” short.
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